You want to put yourself out there, and then you go quiet. You want the relationship, and then you pull away. You want to rest, and a voice tells you that you haven't earned it yet. It can feel like someone inside you keeps pressing the brakes.
Most of us respond by getting stricter with ourselves. More discipline, more willpower, more inner criticism. And the more we push, the harder that part pushes back.
We are made of many parts
In parts work, we understand the psyche as a kind of inner family. There's the part of you that dreams big, the part that worries, the part that keeps everyone happy, the young part that still remembers what it felt like to be left out. Each one developed for a reason, usually to protect you when you needed it.
The part that holds you back is rarely your enemy. It's often a loyal protector still doing a job it took on years ago, like keeping you invisible so you couldn't be hurt, or keeping you busy so you didn't have to feel. It doesn't know you're safer now. No one has told it.
Meeting your parts with curiosity
When we turn towards a part with genuine curiosity, something shifts. We might ask: What are you trying to protect me from? How old were you when you started doing this? What would you need to be able to rest? Very often, a part that's finally listened to begins to soften on its own.
Where spirit comes in
In my sessions, this inner work and spirit work often meet. Sometimes a part is carrying something that isn't only from this life. Sometimes a guide, an ancestor or the Divine shows up to offer what a younger part never received: comfort, protection, permission. And sometimes, in a guided journey to your Inner Temple, your own deep self brings the answer no one else could have given you.
When the psychological and the spiritual meet like this, people often describe feeling held in a way that's hard to put into words. Less divided. More whole.
Try this
Think of one way you hold yourself back. Instead of asking how do I stop this?, ask what is this part afraid would happen if it stopped? Listen kindly to the answer. Thank it for trying to protect you.
If you'd like help meeting the parts of you that keep you stuck, gently and with spirit alongside you, I'd love to work with you. Start with a Soul & Psyche Reading, which you can book on my Work With Me page.
